How Chocolate Chip Cookies Can Make A Difference

It happened in my second year of teaching in the public school. I had been paired with a seasoned teacher who had a reputation for being “difficult.” Fortunately, I was so overwhelmed with my new job that Terri and I didn't have a lot of contact, and for the most part we treated each other with respect – but I soon determined we would never be "besties".

Toward the end of the school year both of us became stressed and exhausted from the planning of a massive field trip. We were taking a three-day, two-night stay in Ashland, Oregon with more than 200 students and parents. It was obviously the straw that broke the camel's back because Terri quit talking to me – and gave me a complete cold shoulder. We had zero communication, and our rooms were next door to each other! This distance and tension continued for 6 weeks!

I have discovered that with "difficult people" there are usually some root emotions: insecurity, self-centeredness, anger, pride. Sometimes one, sometimes all four!

In these situations, to resolve a conflict, someone needs to be mature and move forward, and it's usually never the person who is "difficult.” So, I prayed about it. I prayed for wisdom and guidance. And then I decided to make chocolate chip cookies. I mean after all, who can resist? I consider them a "cure- all.”

I put five in a small plastic container with a note on the lid, "Can we talk?"

Before the day was over, she responded to my invitation to talk. Her harsh attitude seems to have stemmed from when I had asked her to do something concerning the field trip and it caused her a lot more work than either of us suspected; she ended up staying after school for two hours to complete the task.

She was angry, bitter, and resentful. Her method of dealing with the situation was to be a "Silent Terri". I listened. I watched her eat the cookies. I apologized profusely and promised to be more careful and considerate in the future about asking for her assistance.

"Difficult" people need and want love, but often they're the people who are the hardest to love. As Jesus said on the cross, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." Often "difficult" people simply don't know what they are doing. Sometimes they don't care – and that's where maturity, kindness, a listening ear, and chocolate chip cookies can enter the picture and bring peace.